Alas! Girl Scout cookie season is over. My stomach and I are both relieved.
Damn those scouts anyway. Lurking in the doorways of the grocery stores, turning cartwheels, and begging the general public to purchase their over-priced, chemically-enhanced-so-they-are-addictive-and-you-can’t-stop-eating-them-until-next-thing-you-know-all-the-thin-mints-are-gone boxes of cookies. I don’t know about you, but I feel bad when I turn the cookie dealing spawn down because I know the money goes toward a good cause. However, what single person really needs 3 boxes of cookies for $11? Really? I avoid the guilt by simply feigning deafness or refusing to make eye contact. Luckily I am blessed with an uncanny knack of being able to tune out the whiny voices of youth. And if I don’t make eye contact, then I don’t have to see the hope of being the top troop shatter in some little girl’s eyes. This technique has successfully kept me from buying the deliciously evil treats for at least 4 years now.
Those around me have unfortunately succumbed to the wiles of these young scouts though. I am forced to try “just one” Samoa and then spend weeks craving the little coconut and chocolate covered bastards. Thanks to Keebler, you can find cookies that are very similar to those of the Girl Scouts at a more reasonable price point. This helps those on a budget still enjoy a peanut butter covered wafer dipped in chocolate. That being said, I have yet to find a generic equivalent for the aforementioned Samoa cookies they sell. I am thinking about writing a letter to Keebler in regard to this travesty. It would go something like this:
To Whom It May Concern:
Greetings, Keebler! I am writing in regard to your cookie line up. It seems as though your company has sampled and stolen the recipes for a substantial amount of Girl Scout cookies in your day which leads me to ask one question. Why have you not reproduced the Samoa brand in all your cookie making glory? You have a knock off cookie for all the other types of Girl Scout cookies, why not the Samoa!? I beg you to please consider recreating this delectable treat under the Keebler brand so that it can be available more than once a year to the masses and at an affordable cost. And if you could make it with Splenda so that it doesn’t make me vomit, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Perhaps if we band together and start a petition. . .
Then again, it could be a conspiracy between the Girl Scouts and Keebler.
At any rate, I won’t feel guilted into eating their fares for at least another 11 months and for that I am most thankful.
Damn those scouts anyway. Lurking in the doorways of the grocery stores, turning cartwheels, and begging the general public to purchase their over-priced, chemically-enhanced-so-they-are-addictive-and-you-can’t-stop-eating-them-until-next-thing-you-know-all-the-thin-mints-are-gone boxes of cookies. I don’t know about you, but I feel bad when I turn the cookie dealing spawn down because I know the money goes toward a good cause. However, what single person really needs 3 boxes of cookies for $11? Really? I avoid the guilt by simply feigning deafness or refusing to make eye contact. Luckily I am blessed with an uncanny knack of being able to tune out the whiny voices of youth. And if I don’t make eye contact, then I don’t have to see the hope of being the top troop shatter in some little girl’s eyes. This technique has successfully kept me from buying the deliciously evil treats for at least 4 years now.
Those around me have unfortunately succumbed to the wiles of these young scouts though. I am forced to try “just one” Samoa and then spend weeks craving the little coconut and chocolate covered bastards. Thanks to Keebler, you can find cookies that are very similar to those of the Girl Scouts at a more reasonable price point. This helps those on a budget still enjoy a peanut butter covered wafer dipped in chocolate. That being said, I have yet to find a generic equivalent for the aforementioned Samoa cookies they sell. I am thinking about writing a letter to Keebler in regard to this travesty. It would go something like this:
To Whom It May Concern:
Greetings, Keebler! I am writing in regard to your cookie line up. It seems as though your company has sampled and stolen the recipes for a substantial amount of Girl Scout cookies in your day which leads me to ask one question. Why have you not reproduced the Samoa brand in all your cookie making glory? You have a knock off cookie for all the other types of Girl Scout cookies, why not the Samoa!? I beg you to please consider recreating this delectable treat under the Keebler brand so that it can be available more than once a year to the masses and at an affordable cost. And if you could make it with Splenda so that it doesn’t make me vomit, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Perhaps if we band together and start a petition. . .
Then again, it could be a conspiracy between the Girl Scouts and Keebler.
At any rate, I won’t feel guilted into eating their fares for at least another 11 months and for that I am most thankful.
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